


Adieu Tristesse

by needleyecandy



Series: Belonging [4]
Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Hook, Bondage, Bottom Thor, Control, Fluff, Gags, Light BDSM, M/M, Mild humiliation kink, Object Insertion, Oral Sex, Spanking, Top Loki, brief use of derogatory language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 10:01:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4175640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This time, Loki has Thor pick out his own present. It turns out to be quite a lot of fun.</p><p>This can be read as a stand-alone, but I hope you'll read the other parts first. I'm fond of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adieu Tristesse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thefrogofswords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefrogofswords/gifts).



> And here we are, another sequel, this time from Loki's POV. I have no idea why it's labeled part 4 - it is part 3 of 3. 
> 
> Enjoy.

There was probably only one thing in the world on which Loki and Thor's father agreed: Thor was messed up, mentally. Where they disagreed was in what it was that he was messed up about. The grizzled old monster thought Thor was messed up for his feelings about Loki (and if he had known what Thor wanted from Loki... well, at least they'd hidden that much). Loki thought Thor was messed up by all the guilt and shame his father had taught him to feel about who he was. Any halfway sensible parent, Loki thought, would be overjoyed to have a child as bright and kind as Thor. Yes, he was brash and impulsive, sometimes acting before he thought, but the emotions that he acted on were themselves based in him being, at heart, _good._

Once Loki had given Thor a pen and notepad. "I'd like you to write down all your embarrassments, and when you're done, I want you to read them to me," he'd said. 

"Do I have to?" Thor had asked, blushing. 

"You already know the answer to that." 

Thor nodded. "I don't have to do anything I don’t want to, but you wouldn't ask if you didn't want it." He picked up the pen. 

Loki smiled. "I'll give you some time," he said. 

Loki was almost to the end of his movie (the Deer Hunter, which was seriously long) when Thor came into the living room. "I'm done," he said. 

Loki stopped the movie and followed Thor back to the dining room, where he sat across from Thor. Thor picked up the pad and started to read. 

Thor had held on to _everything_. Loki heard about the time Thor's sitter had let him watch an R-rated horror movie even though he was only four, and he had gotten so scared he had had an accident right there on the white sofa. And when Thor was seven, he had actually slipped on a banana peel. Someone had seen and told his whole class at school. They got more painful as Thor narrated his way through his adolescence and into college. Like when he was sixteen and the housekeeper brought his father the magazine that he hadn't hidden quite well enough, and his father had spent an hour telling Thor how sickened he was to learn that his own son was interested in such things. And the time he had misread someone's signals and been told, "Ugh, get away from me, I'm no _fag_ ," when all he had done was offer to buy him a drink. 

By the time Thor was done reading, his hands were shaking so hard he could barely hold up the notepad. 

"There. Now there's nothing left to fear," Loki said. He took Thor's hand and led him to the bedroom where he kissed him for hours before making love to him. 

It was around then that Thor had stopped blushing at the things they did together. Sweet as his blushes had been, it was even sweeter to watch them give way to open smiles. To realize that he need feel no shame, because their pleasures were not shameful. Both gave joyfully to the other’s enjoyment. If the world were better than it was, it would be a thing to shout from the rooftops. 

But yes, those early blushes were _so_ sweet. Loki sighed as he sank deeper into his bath, feeling his cock stirring a little at the thought, even as the rest of him relaxed into the water. He thought back to that first day when Thor had shown up to their group meeting and their eyes had met. There hadn’t been a free seat next to Loki, so they didn’t get to talk until lunchtime. Even then, their conversation was limited. 

The whole research group had gone out together, Dr. Velasquez taking them for curry to celebrate the newest addition.They had managed to look casual all through the introductions that morning, and Loki got a chair next to Thor at the restaurant. By the time the food was served, their ankles were hooked together. 

After lunch, all the new grad students were supposed to meet up again to start their general training – days of lectures on safety, T.A. ethics, navigating the university’s Byzantine administrative structure. Loki didn’t mind (well, not too much) seeing him go. His phone number was in Thor’s pocket. 

They met for dinner that night, just the two of them. “Do you need to move your car first?” Loki had asked. 

“No, I took the bus. It seemed easier than parking around campus,” Thor answered. 

“Yeah, if you live near a good line don’t even try to drive,” Loki agreed. Loki himself had moved into a sublet near campus, the rent a steal because the owner was more interested in having good tenants than in getting the highest price he could, and he was hoping to take over the lease when the holder moved out at the end of the term. 

“So, how do you want to work things? I mean, us?” Thor asked. “If there is an us, I mean.” 

“We don’t know each other very well,” Loki had begun cautiously. He finished more quickly upon seeing Thor’s face fall. “But I think it would be stupid of us not to try.” 

They walked back to Loki’s apartment after they ate. Thor had come apart for him so beautifully, shaking like a leaf as he stripped for Loki to watch, trembling with desire as Loki had ordered him from pose to pose, each one deepening the red in his face. 

He had ignored Thor’s begging that time, coaxing him slowly open to his own satisfaction before sliding in. Thor was so hot inside, so tight and welcoming and every part of him was in motion, arms and legs clutching at Loki to pull him in deeper, head thrashing against the pillow, passage clenching deliciously. 

“So good for me,” Loki had murmured afterwards as he kissed away the anxious little wrinkle between Thor’s brows. “My good, good slut.” 

It was easy enough to stick to the words Thor wanted to be called – he hadn’t done that with a lover before, so he had no habits to break – but Thor was endlessly grateful. He was so grateful for everything. He showered Loki with more affection than he had ever known, with gestures as large as the time he spent two hours licking every inch of Loki’s skin, and as simple as the look in his eyes when he met Loki’s gaze across their lab benches. It was a cashmere blanket on a cold day. A fragrant bath when he was sore. A balm for pains he had never known he had, until Thor had fallen into his life and kissed them all away. 

Loki was selfish. He knew that perfectly well. If he were less selfish, he would tell Thor the truth - that despite what his life so far had taught him, this basic sort of respect was no more than what anyone deserved - but he said nothing. He didn't want Thor to go. Instead he made a silent promise that he would do his best to deserve Thor's love. 

They had only been together six months when Loki’s roommate moved out and Thor moved in. They knew it was fast, but neither of them had any doubts. And it was so lovely to have a home together. Loki had gotten tested and come home and thrown out his condoms, and Thor’s first night there they had curled together and Loki had taken him and they had fallen asleep together with Loki’s cock still buried in Thor’s ass. 

Loki slowly grew more controlling as he saw how Thor thrived under the attention. All of his orders – everything from telling Thor the minimum number of fruits he was to eat that day (Thor tended to eat whatever was quick and easy, and Loki worried about his nutrition) to the position he expected Thor to be in by the time he followed him to the bedroom – were met with a glow of happiness. They often also got him a warm “Yes, Loki.” His cock grew stiff as he thought about the countless times he had heard those delicious words. 

“Thor?” he called. 

A moment later Thor stood in the bathroom doorway. 

“I want your mouth,” Loki said. 

“Yes, Loki,” Thor said, sinking to his knees. 

***** 

Loki was in the middle of cooking their dinner when the front door slammed and Thor came stomping in. 

“What’s wrong?” Loki asked, looking up. 

Thor slammed his suitcase down onto a chair. “Work today was awful, I was in meetings all day and then my boss wanted to know why I didn't get anything done, and the gym was so packed, and this guy using the free weights was being a complete asshole-“ 

Loki cut him off. “Don’t call him that,” he said. 

Thor looked at him curiously. “Am I not allowed to swear anymore?” he asked. 

“No, you are. Just not that. When you say that, all I can picture is yours, and it’s so lovely,” Loki told him. 

Thor paused a moment, a strange look passing across his face, and then he laughed. “You always know how to make me feel better, you know that?” he asked. 

“I do my best. Now I want you naked on the table. Eyes closed.” 

Loki went into the kitchen and got the bouquet of flowers he had picked up on the way home. He ran his hands carefully over each stem, making absolutely certain there was nothing sharp or rough. Their light powdery fragrance clung to his hands. 

Thor was on his back when Loki returned, the earlier tension starting to melt away. 

“Turn over,” Loki said. 

Thor rolled onto his stomach. Loki slicked two fingers and worked them inside, parting them slightly. He slid stem after stem between them, his fingers forced further open as Thor was slowly filled. At last he withdrew, leaving Thor with a spray of blooms - red alstromeria, their yellow throats dappled with little black freckles - springing from him. “Open your eyes,” he whispered. 

Thor’s eyes opened and found his reflection in the mirror that always stayed in their dining room, wherever they happened to move. 

“I told you. Lovely,” Loki said. 

***** 

When Thor got home another night, he found Loki sitting naked in bed, leaning against the headboard and clicking things on his computer. “Are you looking up things to do to me?” he asked hopefully. 

“Mmm, something like that. Take off your clothes and come here,” Loki said, spreading his legs and patting the bed between them. 

Thor undressed quickly and settled in, leaning back against Loki’s chest. He hummed in contentment when Loki wrapped his arms around him and kissed his shoulder. Thor’s skin was so warm beneath Loki’s hands as he ran them across his chest, teasing his nipples into tautness, trailing his fingers through the valleys between each beautifully defined muscle, until they reached his cock. Loki stroked it into fullness before opening his laptop back up and giving it to Thor. 

“I want you to look at the toys,” he said. His hands stilled, but remained where they were. 

Thor clicked on picture after picture, his cock bouncing gently in Loki’s grip when he saw something he particularly liked. When they got to the hook, the bounce was not so gentle. “Go get my wallet,” Loki whispered in his ear. 

Thor shivered happily and jumped up. 

***** 

The package arrived on a Saturday. The weather was beautiful and they had gone out for a hike in the wildlife preserve east of town. They hadn't seen many kinds of wildlife that they didn't see in their neighborhood, but a chipmunk and a newt had made brief appearances, and the flowers were in full bloom. They had walked for three hours, holding hands and talking quietly, enjoying the simple pleasure of each other's company.

When they got home, Thor brought the mail in, dropping the junk into the recycling before sorting out their letters. The box he took straight to Loki. "Please?" he asked. 

And _oh,_ it was hard to say no, when Loki wanted it just as much. But Thor always came so much harder when he had to wait. So Loki put aside his own wants, because even more than this he wanted to see Thor's reaction when he finally got what he had waited for. 

"No, I feel like something else tonight. Bring me your paddle. Your gag, too. We don't want to disturb the neighbors," he said. 

Thor's answering kiss was glorious. 

Almost as glorious was the way he looked once he was ready to receive his spanking. The black ball in his mouth - a small one, it was enough to muffle his cries, and larger ones tended to make him gag, and not in a way either of them enjoyed - and his legs poker-straight as he stood next to the bed, bent over double and his arms braced on the mattress, were exquisite. 

Thor had put his ring on, as well. The band shone dully against his skin. Loki had gotten it for him ages ago, from one of the vending machines at the supermarket. It was a plastic ring with a red plastic stone, and Loki had fed quarter after quarter into the machine until he got what he wanted, and brought it home for Thor. Loki had offered to get him something nicer, now that he could afford it, but Thor was attached to the cheap little trinket. It had been one of the first things Loki had ever given him. He wore it with the stone on the inside, by his palm, and when he couldn’t talk to give his safeword, he would show Loki a flash of the red stone. It had been ages since they needed it – both of them had, in time, learned exactly where Thor’s limits were – but Loki still liked Thor to have it, and Thor liked that Loki liked it. 

Loki paddled him until he was screaming into his gag, his ass cherry-red and burning hot to touch. “All right, that’s enough. Lie down,” Loki told him. He patted the coverlet and Thor looked up at him with tear-smeared eyes. “For me,” he added gently. The little decorative knots that seemed so innocuous other times felt like fire against screaming skin, Thor had told him not long after they had bought it. Loki watched Thor settle gingerly onto his back, a soft whimper escaping the gag as he lowered his weight. 

_Gingerly._ He would try ginger, next time. He suspected Thor would like it very much. 

“You may come whenever you are ready,” Loki said, licking his lips and leaning down. 

***** 

Sunday dawned cold and bleak, the dull gray rain muffling the noises of the outside world. The perfect day for them to keep the curtains closed. 

"We'll make our own rainbows," Thor had said their first dull autumn day together. "Your eyes are so green-" 

"-and yours are so blue-" 

"-and my ass gets so red-" 

Loki had laughed at that. "I was thinking of your lips. But yes, you redden perfectly," he said. "And yellow?" 

Thor thought for a moment before ignoring the obvious. "We'll have to take a piss at some point," he said. 

"Ah, romance," Loki had answered. But the term had stuck. 

"What's it like out?" Thor mumbled sleepily from the bed. 

Loki turned away from the window, letting the curtains fall shut. "It's a rainbow day," he answered. 

"Mmm, I love those," Thor said. 

"And we have something fun to try," Loki reminded him. 

_That_ woke him up. He was out of bed and putting on the tea water before Loki even had his slippers on. Thor's feet were immune to cold, and he teased Loki endlessly about the slippers. If Loki were to admit the truth, it was half the reason he wore them. Thor's eyes always shone when he was teasing. 

Loki started fixing breakfast as Thor made the tea. When it was brewed and they each had a steaming cup, Loki turned to him. "Back to bed. Now," he ordered. 

Thor did as he was told, his face brightening as Loki knelt to pull their toy box out from under the bed. Loki found just the right dildo, the long clear purple one with nubbly bits all over it, thin enough to go right in, and he slicked it efficiently. Thor spread his legs and kept his eyes on Loki's face as he pressed it inside. "No hands, but you can wiggle all you want," he said teasingly. 

Thor's low moans followed him back to the kitchen. It was such a joy, cooking for Thor, he always thought. Thor was better about nutrition than he used to be - years of Loki demanding a recounting of his day's meals had helped - but this had never lost any of its goodness. Learning the nutritional needs of a man of Thor's size and musculature, adding up protein counts and vitamin percentages... it gave him a quiet happiness that he never knew how to speak. 

Watching Thor sit up to eat, the dildo still buried within him, shifting and rubbing with each little movement, oh, yes. That was such a joy, as well. 

And his face, when Loki set out the hook - that was even better. Loki took ages to pull out the soft toy, letting each nub drag across every nerve. At last it was free. 

"On the floor. Hands and knees," Loki whispered. He could hear the excited tremble in his own voice. From the hungry smile Thor gave him as he hastened to obey, he recognized it as well. 

They hadn't gotten the largest hook - that seemed like a thing to work up to - but they hadn't gotten the smallest, either. It was big enough that Loki wanted Thor to be more loose and open before he put it in. His slick fingers set to work, coaxing Thor's fluttering muscles to relax and his opening to stretch. 

"You look ready. How do you feel?" Loki finally asked. 

"I want it, if you think I'm ready," Thor said. His voice had the tiniest, most delicious shake to it. 

Loki couldn't resist planting a kiss on Thor's plump cheek - just as golden as the rest of him despite never seeing sun - before giving it an affectionate slap. That never failed to distract Thor from his nerves, at least a little. 

Loki thoroughly slicked the ball on the end of the hook. "It's cold," he warned. 

When Thor nodded, Loki brought it to his entrance. No pressure at first, just letting him get used to the feel of the metal, so different from the toys they usually used. Thor was accustomed to silicone or jelly toys, things with at least a slight amount of give to them. Today, it was Thor's body that would do all the giving. 

"Don't move," Loki cautioned. It was all the warning Thor got before he pushed the ball inside. He did it slowly, watching as Thor's entrance gave way, opening itself to the intrusion, the furled skin stretched into taut whiteness. He paused when it was at the widest point, admiring. "So good. So good for me," he praised, when Thor whimpered at the intensity of it. He let go, then, and watched as Thor's body swallowed it up. "Oh, you took it all on your own. And it nestles right between your cheeks so beautifully." 

Loki could hear Thor panting softly at the unfamiliar sensation as he fed the soft rope through the hole at the free end. Loki had given him no idea of what to expect. Sometimes Loki told him everything in detail, exactly as it was going to happen, letting him suffer through the dread that always left him stiff and leaking. Other times, though, Loki would keep him in ignorance, letting his mind conjure up all sorts of scenes. He liked to have Thor tell him about them later. Thor was quite creative. 

"Kneel up for me, now," Loki said softly, and Thor obeyed, though he moved slowly. "Is the weight of it difficult?" 

Thor nodded. "It won't feel so heavy once you have me bound, though." 

Loki leaned down to kiss his cheek before circling behind him. Thor kept his head high and proud, as he knew he should. Loki passed the ropes up over his shoulders and down beneath his arms before he began to tie Thor's hands behind his back. He wrapped and wrapped until the thick coils completely encased Thor's forearms. 

"There. So lovely," Loki praised, walking around him. "Hold this for me, all right?" 

Thor started to nod, but even that small motion was enough to tug at the hook, and he froze. "I'll do my best," he promised. "Are you going to gag me?" 

Loki cocked one eyebrow. "I rather think that if you get a muscle cramp, you should be able to tell me. But be quiet otherwise. I'm going to read." 

And with that, Loki got back in bed, picking up his book and flipping it open. Loki's eyes ran down page after page without taking in a single word. It was impossible to think about anything else with Thor kneeling there, bound, penetrated. He watched Thor out of the corner of his eye. He was impressed: Thor held his position perfectly for perhaps fifteen minutes before he began to grow stiff. He shifted, trying to ease his shoulders, only to gasp at the sharp jerk inside him. Moving his arms brought more noises. Even wiggling his fingers was enough to take his breath. It was delicious, lying there listening as Thor tried desperately to keep his whimpers soft enough that Loki wouldn't be disturbed in his reading. 

He pretended to read for an hour. When he rose, Thor's body was covered in a gleam of sweat and his chest was heaving. His eyes were dry, though, and they shone with the peace he always found in these times. Loki's smile was beatific as he rested one hand against Thor's cheek. "Just look how good you are. Can you take some more for me?" he asked. 

"Please," Thor begged. 

"All right," Loki said, kneeling behind him. He worked as swiftly as he could while trying not to jostle the hook. Thor deserved a small break before what was coming next. At last he was freed, the ropes hanging loosely over his shoulders. Loki rose and stood in front of him. "Go ahead. I know you want to," he said, smiling. 

Thor's hands flew like lightning over Loki's body, shoving at the thin knit shirt he wore until Loki took pity and tugged it off, pulling down Loki's soft pajama pants and sliding them away as Loki raised first one foot and then the other. Loki never slept in them, and sometimes Thor would teasingly say that they couldn't be pajamas if Loki only wore them when he was awake, and Loki would answer back, just as teasingly, that he'd bought them in the pj department and that's what they were. But Thor did not tease now, not when Loki's cock was at last before him. Because Loki was right, he _did_ want to. He leaned forward and wrapped his lips around it, his face going blissful as he suckled at the tip, running his tongue through the slit. 

It was difficult to interrupt him, with his mouth so dizzying and with him looking so content, but the time wasn't right. "Not just yet, Thor. I'll let you in a moment," he said. 

Thor slipped back, away, and looked up at him. Loki took all the love he found in Thor's eyes and met it with his own. He bent down and took the ropes in his hands, giving Thor a long, penetrating kiss before he rose. He gathered up the slack until Thor inhaled sharply through his nose - whether in relief at having the weight taken away, or the slight tug inside, Loki couldn't quite tell - and spoke. "All right. Now you may." 

Thor took his cock again, teasing with tongue and lips and tension before going deeper, moving smoothly until his lips were nestled into the thick black hair at the base. If Loki's hands were not busy with the coils of soft rope, he would reach down and stroke Thor's throat. He did that the first time Thor received him fully, and when he felt the pressure of his fingers right through the delicate skin he had come almost instantly. Thor held there as long as he could, swallowing over and over until he had to move back to breathe. Loki could feel how even such a small shift had increased the tension on the hook. It was glorious to watch it wash over Thor's face, this realization that he could ease the burning pull within for as long as he could hold his breath. He began to rock back and forth, fucking himself faster on the intrusive metal, fucking himself faster on Loki's cock. 

Loki watched Thor as he worked himself restlessly, beginning to jerk back harder to make the hook tug painfully, slamming his face forwards hard enough that he choked each time Loki's cock rammed into the back of his throat. And the sounds he was making... pleading, agonized whimpers that said he was almost as near his climax as Loki was. His hair was a mess, sweaty blond locks clinging to his skin as he grew frantic with need. 

At last Loki tightened his hold on the ropes and fastened his hands on the back of Thor's head, denying him the brief reprieve he had found, and drove desperately into him, hoping he was close enough to finish on this one held breath, safe in the knowledge that Thor would push him away if needed. He only allowed himself the pleasure of a single burst of come to pour into his lover before he pulled free, bathing Thor in sharp bursts of heat as Thor took a huge gasp of air. 

When he finished, he found he had dropped the ropes, and Thor was staring up at him with burning eyes. "Please, Loki, oh God, please..." he begged. 

Loki fell to his knees and wrapped his hands around Thor's cock. Thor slumped forwards with a sob, resting his head on Loki's shoulder as Loki stroked him, harder and faster until Thor's hips were thrusting forwards into his grasp and then he was spilling, shooting all over Loki's skin with fierce hot grunts. 

When Thor finished, Loki could feel his body going limp, and helped lower him gently to rest on his side. "I'm going to take this out, and then we'll get you into bed, okay?" he said gently. 

At Thor's nod, he took a firm grip on the hook and eased it free. Thor made a slight sound of discomfort at the stretch, and Loki patted his arm. "That's all done now. Do you think you can stand up?" 

It took longer before Thor nodded his agreement this time. Loki helped him onto shaky feet and lowered him to the bed before easing him onto his back and laying next to him. 

"You did so well, Thor," he praised. "You're always so good for me. So very good." They lay still, Loki pressing soft kisses onto Thor's glowing skin and murmuring words of praise as he felt Thor's body slowly calm. He slipped away with promises of a quick return, coming back with a tall glass of juice for Thor and warm damp washcloths for them both. 

“How do you feel?” Loki asked as he helped Thor to sit up and drink. 

Thor's warm eyes met his own. "I feel like I'm home." 


End file.
